For years I have asked Jesus two questions- “What are you thinking about?” and “What are you doing?” without ever truly getting an answer. I’m now beginning to believe it’s because I honestly wasn't ready to know the answers to those very intimate questions. These questions, that I felt to be simple, were questions that would reveal the depth and core of Jesus’ heart, and although I thought my heart was pure in seeking the answers I understand now that all I was looking for was self gain. I truly just wanted to know what He was thinking about in terms of me and what he was doing in terms of me.
Jesus stirred those questions in my heart years ago as he began to take me on a journey of truly knowing his heart. Little did I know what I was really asking for and little did I know the cost it would take to know the most vulnerable places of his heart. If you ask anything in His name He will give it to you. Jesus was serious when he said this and even though the answer may not come immediately that doesn't means it’s not still coming. Jesus had heard my cry to know him more intimately, but going deeper and into that very real and vulnerable place with Jesus would cost me something. To ask Jesus the deep things on his heart, I had to be willing to take my focus off of myself and take time to choose to see what He sees. I had to be willing to receive His answers even if it’s not what I had expected.
‘What is Jesus thinking about?’ I found this answer as I began to walk with open eyes, choosing to go to those places with Him and not only seeing the pain and suffering but allowing my heart to feel the pain also. ‘What is Jesus doing?’ He is standing by the starving boy sent out to beg in the streets. He is holding the mamma as she weeps with bitter tears at her lack to care for her family. He is carrying the cripple man crawling in the dirt, and wiping away the tears of the orphans unable to sleep at night. I have learned that Jesus is found in the mists of pain eagerly waiting for US to choose to be His hands and feet. Jesus is standing close by those who are brokenhearted, suffering, mourning, and hurting and He is saying, I love all of my sheep but I will go searching even if one of them is lost. The question I must ask myself; am I willing to live among pain in order to know Jesus more? Am I willing to be that intimate as to share in the sufferings of His children and feel what His heart feels every day? Am I willing to be a friend to Jesus and stand by Him no matter what situation I face, even if it’s death? Will I deny Jesus to His people or will I speak on His behalf? I have never really thought deeply about what Jesus called me into on that day I chose Him, until now.
Living here in Africa I have been submerged into what I now believe to be the core of Jesus’ heart. I believe it’s a Holy invitation to be invited to walk among the poor; an invitation that Jesus does not take lightly. I believe to share in the sufferings of God’s children is not something to be overlooked but in fact the center of Jesus’ heart. When you move into a place where you’re laying your own life down for another person that is when you know what Jesus is truly thinking about. I’m ashamed to have lived so long for myself and seeking my own purposes, I honestly didn’t even realize I was until I began serving the least of these and sitting in the dirt among the pain and suffering. If I want to know Jesus more I have to be willing to be a part of what He is doing and choose to follow Him even if that means not living comfortably. I must choose to be the salt and the light to the world and realize that my life isn’t my own anymore. Knowing Jesus and living intimately with Him is going to cost me EVERYTHING, but I will to choose everyday to lay it down! It’s no longer my will, my agenda, my needs, my concerns, my dreams, my struggles but it’s all about Jesus and serving Him.
“King of Justice” (Hebrews 7:2) this is who Jesus is! Jesus was a man born in a village, a carpenter’s son; choosing to live among the people rather than in the riches of a palace. He was a man who came not to be served but to serve and lay down his life for his friends. The one who, “In all their sufferings he also suffered, and personally rescued them.”(Isaiah 63:9) The one God anointed, just as it says “In your majesty, ride out to victory, defending truth, humility, and justice. Go forth to perform awe-inspiring deeds! Your throne, O God, endures forever and ever. You rule with a scepter of Justice. You love justice and hate evil. Therefore God, your God, has anointed you, pouring out the oil of joy on you more than on anyone else. “(Psalm 45:4, 6-7) And again God said, “Look at my Servant, whom I have chosen. He is my Beloved, who pleases me. I will put my Spirit upon him, and he will proclaim justice to the nations.” (Matthew 12:18) This is who Jesus is and the core of his heart; “He gives justice to the oppressed and food to the hungry. The Lord frees the prisoners. The Lord opens the eyes of the blind. The Lord lifts up those who are weighted down.”(Psalm 146:7-8) Jesus proclaimed, “For, I the Lord, love justice. I hate robbery and wrongdoings. I will faithfully reward my people for their suffering and make an everlasting covenant with them. “(Isaiah 61:8) Jesus was the one who said “Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows. “ (Isaiah 1:17) and again He said “Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.” (James 1:27)
“His rule is built on justice!” (Proverbs 16:12) and If I want to know Him more I must stand up for the injustices of this world and fight for what he is already fighting for!
“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, for the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed. He has sent me to tell those who mourn that the time of the Lords favor has come, and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies.” Isaiah 61:1-2